Introverts & Extroverts: A Critical Difference
Do you love to be around new people? Are you
quick to strike up conversations? Or are you more shy and
reserved? Do you have lots of friends in your day‐to‐day life,
or are you more likely to stick to a few close friends? In short,
the question might be summed up as this: “Are you more
outgoing or ingoing?” Understanding your answer to this
question can make a difference in the quality of your
relationships at home, school, work and in life.
Carl Jung (pronounced “Young”), a Swiss psychologist,
stated in 1920 that people are fundamentally different in their
ways of functioning in the world and have distinct preferences
for these different ways of functioning. In short, we act the
way that most naturally comes to us. After studying many
people, Jung concluded that some people are more energized
by stimulation from the external world, for example, through
actions or talking, while others gain more energy from their
inner world, such as through thinking and feeling.
Getting a sense of how extroverted or introverted you are
can help you find balance in your own life as well as in your
relationships. It may help you to make choices that best suit
your personality and its needs. For example, if you’re the type
of person who loves to chat and be around others a lot, you
may find teamwork, dorm life and even apartment‐sharing a
pleasure. If, on the other hand, you prefer to have time alone
and you find your energy sapped by being around too many
people, you may prefer doing projects solo or living alone.
You may be an extrovert , that is, someone who is most
energized by his or her outer world or an introvert , someone
who is most energized by his or her internal world. Or you
might be somewhere in between, which is known as an
ambivert . An ambivert is both introverted and extraverted
depending on the situations they are in. When they are
around people that they are close to and trust, they tend to
be more extroverted, while when in new situations or around
others they are not very familiar or trusting of, they tend to be
introverted. It was Carl Jung’s contemporaries that coined this
term after finding that many people did not fit neatly into the
introvert or extrovert category.
Understanding if those with whom you live or work are
more extroverted or introverted might help you accept the
differences between you, draw on your strengths and avoid
the friction that occurs when people try to change one
another. The first step in understanding relationships with
others is to understand your own nature and needs. Many
times misunderstandings between people are simply that –
misunderstandings. Each person is communicating and acting
in the manner that comes most naturally for them, not
considering how the other person may interpret it (which will
depend upon their natural personality traits).
Every personality type has strengths and weaknesses
(what other personality types see as negatives) as represented
in the chart:
A Tip for Keeping Balance:
The Ins and Outs of Relationships:
In dealing with others, it’s important that you keep
in mind the different needs of extroverts and introverts.
Rather than being impatient or critical about these
differences, understand them to bring insight, harmony, and
diversity to your relationships. Consider the following tips:
If you are an extrovert in a relationship with
someone who's more introverted, you need to
remember that the other person might:
· Need to go home earlier than you do.
· Require some quiet spaces and places to be alone.
· More easily complete a project without social
distractions or teams.
· Feel shy in certain social settings in which you feel
completely at ease.
· Need some “down time” to recharge his or her
energy.
· Feel uncomfortable, shy, or overwhelmed by
external stimuli and may not be acting stand‐offish
by retreating, but may simply be trying to preserve
his or her own sense of balance
If you are an introvert in a relationship with
someone who’s more extroverted, you need to
remember that the other person might:
· Need to reach out to others more than you would
like
· Wish to stay later at events or talk to new people
more than you do.
· Benefit from working in teams, with partners or in a
group.
· Feel tied down or bored by too much quiet time.
· At times appear to you to be a social butterfly
without depth when he or she is simply reaching out
to the world in ways that nourish and bring him or
her a sense of balance
Remember this: One of these types of people is not more valuable or able than the other. They are simply different
from each other. Each kind of person has strengths to offer the other kind of person, and things can work out if both
people maintain respect for these difference.
Introverts Extroverts
Positives Careful
Thoughtful
Peaceful
Controlled
Reliable
Even‐tempered
Calm
Sociable
Outgoing
Talkative
Responsive
Easygoing
Lively
Carefree
Negatives Moody
Anxious
Rigid
Sober
Pessimistic
Unsociable
Touchy
Restless
Aggressive
Excitable
Changeable
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